Maldita but kind

Yesterday, I texted one of my friends in SPI (my previous company), just to say “hi, naalala kita, remember when we want to restart the server, we just shout and say, 1023 magrereboot po.” Nakakatuwang alalahanin, kase sometimes, we just don't inform everybody, kaya ayan nawawalan sila ng connection bigla, tas away na yan, away lambing. J

But after awhile, I didn’t receive a reply from her.. “malamang busy” or wala lang dating yung txt ko. When I was on my way home, I receive a message from her saying, “raz miss na kita”. Whoaw, touch naman ako, pero parang may something sa message nya.. parang malungkot. Text text pa rin kami, hanggan sa sabi nya “Naiyak ako kase nalala kita”. What?? Para bang nakakalungkot mga moments naming together.. She texted again, “I missed the happy moments that we share”, so lalong lumakas ang hinala ko na there’s something wrong.. We exchanged messages, at yun may problema nga ang lola.

Before she replied to my text, I was in a state of digging, trying to find an answer, answer sa tanong na “Masyado na ba akong maldita sa mga nakakarami?

Why do I ask such question? Because people around me seems to hate me.
Check this out, one of my dear friend says I’m not kind… (her testi for me sa friendster)

“can’t say she’s kind…she’s not…she won’t put cream on her words so it
will look delicious she’ll bluntly tell me what she needs to say… maybe just when it concerns me… maybe she’s kinder to others. But she cooks for me, when I need to be fed, haven’t eaten for a day (she says I might be anorexic!),
w/ herfresh off d kitchen food i.e.eggs, noodles & corned beef! She’s just a
phonecall away, when Charmie & I need food early in the morning, she’ll hike-up
4floors with a set of breakfast. She accompanies me anywhere I wishes. She has
ready cash when I run out of it during shopping, she’s ready to lend
me anything..name it! When she knows I’m sick, she’ll come with free samples
of medicine (maybe her brother obliged her). Alright! Maybe she’s kind!”

Maybe people hates me because of those highlighted words, ako kase yung tipong nagsasabi ng reality… reality bites, kaya siguro ganon.. Ako yung tipong, always looking for the other side, mahilig akong magcounter flow, hindi basta basta sumasang ayon… ipinaglalaban kung ano yung alam kong tama.. Kaya marami ang nawawala sa tamang direksyon ang naaasar sa akin.. hehehehe.

But, when I receive those txt messages from my friend, kahit pala papano, I’ve touch someone’s life.. yung pagnaisip ako e, hindi “maldita un e” ang papasok sa isip…kundi “ok yang si raz”. Ang sarap isipin how you touched someones life na hindi mo alam..

Well, I don’t want to please everybody, totoo lang talaga siguro ako.. hehehehe