Manood tayo...

I'm inviting all of you to watch and support us on our contests on Dec. 20-22.

Dec 20: Vivere Suites at alabang (elimination 4pm)

Dec 21: Chorale Fest 'Tis Christmas at UST Medicine Auditorium (finals 7:30PM)

Dec 22: Vivere Suites at alabang (finals, hope we can make it to the finals :) )

May solicitation din kami para sa mga costumes namin, kaya kung sinong gustong magdonate, message nyo lang ako.. hehehehe.

Kinakaharap namin ang matinding pagsubok ngayon, dahil ang isang myembro namin ay may sakit sa kasalukuyan.. Sana gumaling na sya at makasama, dahil napakalaking factor pag wala sya... suicide ito, pag pinilit naming magcompete ng wala sya.. We're all praying for her...

Nga pala naging maayos naman ang result ng unang simbang gabi namin.. sabi nga ni MD:

I commend you guys for your courage and spirit. It may not be perfect as we want
it but still we did it good. Kudos! Let's keep it up!

Dumaan lang... napepressure ako...

Hay naku... Medyo wala na ko time para sa blog.. I need to finish all my deadlines sa office before mag Dec. 20, kase magleleave ako ng 20-22 (3 days yun), sana maapprove..

Gabi gabi kami nagrerehearsal para sa competition, grabeng nakakapagod, kase late na kami natatapos.. wala ng tulugan to..

At mamya ay simula na ng simbang gabi, naimbitahan ang choir namin ng isang kaibigang pari na kumanta sa parokya nila. Kaya heto, 1am na kami natapos ng rehearsal para sa kakantahin sa simbang gabi.. Sa kasamaang palad nagkasakit ang isang soprano na gumagawa ng obligato, unfortunately sa akin ipinagawa... waaahhhh.. nakakapressure. Ayoko ng ganito, ok sa akin yun kung medyo may isang araw pa... waaahhh.. kaya heto, nag-aaral ng cd kahit 2am na, 3am ang kita kitas.. waaahhh..

Ang nakakaasar pa hindi ko marehears ng maayos, kase hindi ako makakanta, baka batuhin ako ng kapit bahay sa ingay... hayayay...

Maging maayos sana ang lahat....

Weirdo, I don’t think so..

Medyo mahaba na naman ang vacation ko, and it’s so scary. Sometimes I’m crying to death because of too much work, now I have a lot of free time, and when I have a lot of free time, for sure the next thing is going to be hard.

Right now, we have a choice; we can work at home, on call, you can report to office anytime you want, it’s because we’re not that loaded as of now. I choose to stay at home, it’s convenient for the broke like me.. (hehehe) So bahay ko, office ko. I can move freely, but if there’s a deadline, naku, feels like I’m still at the office rushing. Kanina, I wasn’t able to eat lunch on time, because I have to rush things.. Maya’t maya tumutunog ang telepono.

Well too much for that, I’ve been thinking if I’m really nuts. My close friends, always tell me that I’m crazy, but it’s hard to believe.. I’m NOT. My friend Mia, once said that I’m crazy because I’m accessing my computer at 5am, yes, I’m doing that for the longest time. So what?? I’m doing that, kase nun time na nakadial up pa ako, it’s free time pag ganong oras, so kahit antok na antok pa ako, I don’t care, as long as I can have internet connection for free, wala pang hassle sa phone.. (hindi pa uso sa akin ang blog that time.) And I always told her not to send me forwarded messages in my mails, gusto ko yung wala lang.. and she told me I’m really nuts.. whew!

I don’t know, I’m an addict I guess, with my computer. It’s my routine before, I’m going to sleep at 12midnight and wake up at 3am for internet. Well, I guess this is my comfort zone, marami kong nagagawa in front of my PC, sometimes I caught myself just starring at my monitor..

When I don’t have work, and I don’t have any plans to go out (mall, movies, hang out, dinner), just look at my room, I’m there in front of my PC. Sometimes I forgot to taka a bath (hahahaha). Mia would shout in the drive way to come over, and I would realize, hindi pa ako naliligo, naaliw na naman sa computer. Of course she won’t wait for me, she knows, kung gano ako katagal maligo. Sometimes she doesn’t have a choice, naawa rin sa akin, she’ll pull me on my chair and throw me towel.. Hahahahaha.

My bestfriend always yelled at me when she came here, and see me in front of the computer, she yells because she knows, I haven’t eaten yet. And she would check at night if I’m using the internet, sasabihin non, puyat na naman ako. The last thing I know, we’re arguing about it.

Even my brother would knock at my door, and say, hey maawa ka sa mata mo, lumuluwa na.. (syempre excited ako nun nagshift na ako to broadband). So what more now, na nauso ang blogging sa akin at unlimited pa account ko sa internet at mabilis? Figure out guys… :)

So guys, Am I nuts?

Mukha bang crazy??

Sad but eventually happy (part 2)

Ang dami kong naisip na dahilan kung bakit hindi kami na kapasok, siguro kase, may taong masama ang loob sa choir, basta hindi kami as one nagcompete, napakalaking factor nito sa group.

Nakakalungkot isipin na may taong galit na galit syo, na hindi mo alam. Yung sa halip na susuportahan ka, hihilahin ka sa baba.. Inggitan and all.. Nakakalungkot.

Before the competition, we took the exam, individual singing, kase yun first competition, maximum of 15 members, 22 kami lahat, so you better perform well during exam kung gusto mong makasama. I did pretty well sa exam, and I landed on top 6. 100% pasok ako. Hindi maiiwasan na may maiiwan na members, but all the members na naiwan, naintindihan nila and they are very supportive except for this one person.

I don’t know why she’s so mad at me because I was one of the selected performers. Lahat na yata ng masasakit na salita sinabi nya sa akin, (habang nakatalikod ako) wala naman akong ginagawa sa kanya. It’s the decision of the Musical Director not mine. And besides, pangit ang result ng exam nya, kahit i-review pa sa video. Maikli ang pasensya ko pero somehow mahaba pa rin, I just keep quite, sige bahala kang magmaktol dyan, ang nakakaasar pa pag nadyan ako, hindi naman nya ako inaaway.. isang malaking Plastic. It really affect the group and somehow naapektuhan ako. Nalulungkot ako na parang pinipray pa nya na hindi ko ma hit yun part ko sa ending. Hindi naman ako ang mapapahiya pag hindi ko nagawa yun, GPS ang mapapahiya. Pero I understand medyo maluwag kase ang isang turnilyo nun kaya hindi ko na pinapatulan. And besides, hindi ko dati part yun, kumbaga na elevate lang ako, tas ako na yung taga birit sa last part, meron kase dating gumagawa nun, lyric soprano ito, magaling.. galit na galit din sya dati don, no wonder galit sya sa akin ngayon.

At dahil sa mga ganyang asal, muntik na i-cancel ng MD ang upcoming competitions. Nawindang na naman kaming lahat.. Hay, sayang ang ipinatahing damit. Isa pang nakakalungkot, hindi kami OK ng bestfriend ko (parehas kaming nasa choir)

Kaya heto, dumating ang Tuesday, walang tawag.. Lahat ng members, halos walang gana, pati kanya kanyang trabaho, affected. And we’ve heard tinawagan na ang isang choir. Wala na talagang pag-asa. Wednesday, hindi na kami nakatiis ng bestfriend ko, kinuha namin ang number ng PREX, para matahimik na kami at wala ng what if at matigil na rin kami kaka hope, kung hindi talaga pumasok, tatanggapin namin. Finally we phoned PREX. Kunwari friend kami ng GPS. Ask namin kung nakapasok ang GPS, tawag daw kami after 10min, coconfirm pa nya sa list.

Feeling ko isang taon ang 10minuto, hindi na kami mapalagay, sumapit ang 10minutes.. “ah GPS ba, nasa list kayo, makukuha nyo ang contest piece on Dec.10”. Pagkababa na pagkababa ng phone, as in sigawan talaga kami……… waaahhh…tumambling tambling pa kami sa kama, na parang mga walang muang sa mundo na nagsisisigaw. hindi lang pala naasikaso… Nak ng pating naman oo, wooooooooooooooooohhh, pasok kami. LAhat ng mimyembre nabuhayan, txt dito txt doon, para sa good news.. Hay, God is good. Sabi nga ng isang member na optimistic, hangga't hindi dumarating ang dec. 10, pasok pa rin tayo, kase ang distribution ng contest piece for the finals ay dec. 10.

Kaya heto, sa kabila ng mga problema, may reason pa rin ako para maging masaya. Kaya ngayon puspusan na naman ang aming pag-eensayo. Ang haba ng entry na ito, isa pa palang reason to be happy, naka DSL na ako sa house, goodbye dial-up.. yahoooooooo… and finally, ok na kami ni bessy.. wehehehehehe.

Sad but eventually happy (part 1)

Kakapagod ang competition. We’ve been a competing choir for two years now. We already won the Himig Pasko last year, district division and land in First Place on the Final Night. And here we go again, Christmas season is approaching kaya heto kami at naghahanap na naman ng competition, at pinaghahandaan ang pagbabalik. We need to have a title this year, and we are all excited with high spirit. Sabi ko nga dati mataas ang pangarap namin, we wanted to compete globally..hehehehe.

First competion, at starmall last Sunday, unfortunately we didn’t have any place. But that’s ok, we know that the competition was not that… “you know” judges were not a musician in the first place. Even the other choir, ang mahigpit naming kalaban, at kilalang choir na magaling ay hindi rin nanalo kahit anong place.. hahaha.

Then ang pinakaabangan ang audition, mas prestigious ang contest na ito, kaya talagang pinaghandaan namin.. Winners will get a recording and cash, whouh! Abot abot ang aking kaba, dahil may part ako sa kanta na “bituin walang ningning”, kelangang mahits (there’s a story behind hits), whatever it takes..

Tatlo ang kakantahin namin, Christmas song (Diwa ng Pasko), mellow (Let it be me), grandioso (Bituin walang nining). Nasobrahan na yata ako ng pagod, sumabay pa ang sakit ng ulo ko… waahh, nauna kase un competition sa starmall. Kahit uminom ako ng gamot, wah effect, psychological lang yata ang pagsakit ng ulo ko. Hanggang sa dumating kami sa venue, sakit pa rin ulo ko.

At bonga ang audition naka video pa, (they used it para talagang maevaluate ng husto ang mga contestants) hay, medyo kinabahan ulit ako. After a while, simula na, sound check muna, sound check again, pero bakit parang hindi na pinutol ng conductor namin ang song, dirediretso na ito, hindi pa nakaset ang mind ko na game na, na paghahandaan ko ang ending nito, para sa high note.. my gosh, patapos na parang ayaw kong ibigay ang tono ko.. waaahh. Nagawa ko naman sya, pero at the back of my mind, game naba yun, db sound check pa lang, kase I’m not confident sa ginawa kong last note.. Sabi naman nila, perfect.. ok.

Natapos ang tatlong kanta.. Kinausap na ang conductor namin ng mga judges(I dunno kung judges sila).. Then pinaulit ulit ang “bituin..” waaahhh, I cant stand the pain.. sakit na ng ulo ko. Ulitin daw namin kase hindi nila navideo ng buo.. kinabahan na naman ako, kase I feel so tired, baka hindi ko na ma-hit ang last note.. bahala na, basta focus lang. It ended well. They say mas ok yun hit ko ng pangalawa, mas feel ko naman din yun second time. Usap-usap na naman, tatawagan daw nila kinabukasan ang lahat ng nag-audition na nakapasa. Sabi ng isang facilitator, we’ll definitely call you, wow, syempre medyo naging condifent na kami na pasok kami, and they give some pointers to improve..

Kinabukasan, ang saya ko pa bago pumasok. When I got to the office I’ve heard some bad news, nalungkot ako bigla.. Malungkot na ang buong araw, feeling ko kabikabila problema. Dumating ang gabi, wala akong narecive na txt from my brother(he’s the president of GPS) na congratulations, meaning walang nagtxt from PREX(pinag-auditionan) na nakapasok kami. Waaahh, I’m really sad, kala ko kahit papano magiging masaya ako at the end of the day, lalong bumigat ang pakiramdam ko. Wala na akong nagawa kundi ang umiyak..

But still, I’m hoping na matatawagan kami, hindi ko alam kung bakit hindi kami tatawagan, we did our best.. (to be continued)

TAGay ni Ev

Of all people ako lang ang itinag ni Ev…. Sige na nga, pagbigyan..hehehehe
1. Flashing your smile to someone you don’t want to see.
`How can I do that??

2. Bringing back the feeling you’ve learned to forget.
`Huh! Masaklap yan..

3. Showing that you care.
Mahilig akong magpamper, kase gusto ko ring napapamper.. :)

4. Finding a way to mend a broken heart.
Madali lang yan.. Umiyak ka, matagal na ang isang linggo, magrereklamo na ang mga mata mo nun.. After you cried a river, aba, tama na ang pagmumukmok, enjoy life hindi lang sya ang tao sa paligid.. Go out with friends, magpakabusy.. You won’t notice, hindi mo na maalala ang number nya, na akala mo e, forever na sa utak mo..

5. Learning that you’ve been used by someone you truly love.
At least may pakinabang ka..hahahaha. tama si Ev, mas masakit yung ikaw ang nakakasakit… ayaw ko mangyari yon, hindi bale ng ako ang masaktan. There’s no easy way to break somebody’s heart.. (song yata ito)

6. saying "i love you” when you mean it and when you don’t
I don’t usually say “I love you”. I only say it when I really really really mean it.

7. Letting go of a person you’ve just learned to love.
`Why would I love someone if I’m going to let go??

8. Realizing that you love somebody you’ve just taken for granted.
awtsss… Malamang akala lang nya tinitake for granted ko sya.. hehehe

9. Realizing that you love the person you’ve just broken up with.
ang kulit naman nito.. how can you go into a relationship tapos kapag wala na dun mo lng marerealize na love mo pala?? Nyak! During the relationship ba hindi narealize na love mo pala sya?? Or maybe it’s trial and error..

10. Waiting for promises you know he/she will never keep.
Promises are made to be broken… I don’t believe in promises, just do it…

11. Loving someone who loves somebody else.
I’m using the net, kung nagbobounce ang puso, kontrolin ng net. Rule number 1, don’t fall if you know there’s no one to catch you. Aba, masakit ang mahulog, pag nahulog ka sa 4th floor at walang sumalo sa’yo, naku, ikamamatay mo.. buti kung mga 5meters lng ang kakahulugan mo, mapipilayan ka lang.. hehehehehe

12. Reminiscing the good times you shared together.
i love reminiscing… but I’m not reminiscing para pahirapan ang sarili…

13. Shielding your heart to love somebody.
I’m using the net nga e… you can always control what you feel, believe me…

14. Trying to hide what you really feel.
Naloloka na ako sa mga ito.. parehas lang ba ito ng number 13?? Magmumukha ka lang tanga… let go, enjoy the feeling, but be careful…know your boundaries..

15. Having a commitment w/ someone that you know would not last.
`why would I waste my time, if in the first place e alam kong hindi maglalast… wasting time lang yun.. If you feel something, na hindi talaga kayo, I’d rather stop it, I don’t wanna waste tym, and besides, mas masakit pag pinatagal pa.. I believe, na kapag dumating na talaga yun taong mamahalin mo at mamahalin ka, wala ka ng mararamdamang doubt.. It’s really amazing.

16. Trying to hide the tears that involuntarily fall from your eyes
Iyakin ako e… kase pag pinigil mo, malamang sa ilong naman tutulo.. mas mahirap un. hehehe.

17. Sharing the one you love w/ someone else.
yay, pang martir lang yan… binabaril ang martir sa luneta.

18. Loving a person too much.
Bakit nga ba?? When you love someone, hindi mo narerealize, nalulunod ka na pala.. Tapos nagiging blind ka na, lahat tingin mo tama kahit mali, dahil sa love.. hay

19. Giving up someone you never thought of giving up.
So sad. Kagive up give up siguro talaga un… how can you fight for someone, who’s not willing to fight for you..

20. Falling in love for the first time.
Nakakakilig, corny, magiging corny ka, promise..

21. Loving someone you haven’t seen.
huh! I don’t wanna love someone I haven’t seen.. baka madumi ang kuko sa paa, yay turn off.. bwahahahahahaha

22. Having the right love at the wrong time.
right love at the wrong time?? Baka parang blue moon ito..nyehehehe. Love is about timing, sabi ng prof ko nun college..

23. Exerting effort to make the relationship last or work.
a lot of effort, to the nth degree… but sometimes, it just don’t work, no matter how hard you try. I tried so hard and got so far but in the end it doesn’t really matter….

24. Not being appreciated when you know you've given your best
waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh.. I did my best, but I guess my best wasn’t good enough..

25. Taking the risk to fall in love again .
It’s a great feeling to fall in love again..

26. Hiding your relationship from someone else.
Hindi na ko high school.. ehehehe

27. Controlling your feelings to avoid hurting a friend.
kalokohan.

28. Choosing between 2 persons whom you really love.
May difference pa rin ang intensity ng love… no such thing as “parehas ko silang mahal”

29. Finding out that you can never have the person you just let go of back.
me kaparehas na ito e…

30. Seeing the person you love with someone else.
Who’s someone?? His sister? Or cousin? Hehehehehe.. I’ll go after him at uupakan ko sya, o kaya paghindi ko naabutan, puntahan ko bahay non, magdadala ako ng bato, babatuhin ko bahay nun, sabay harurot ng sasakyan.. nyahahahahahah.
If that’s the case, I’ll talk to him, I’ll let him explain, afterwards I’ll dump him.. nyehehehehe. Without trust, any relationship won’t work.

Ev, ayan ha…. Sinagutan ko na agad.. Sino kaya itatag ko??? hmmm, wag na nga lang.

somebody save me....

I feel so sad...... Pero sabi ni TK panindigan ko ang pagiging JOLLY... waaaahhhhhhhh

I feel bitchy.... bitchy bitchy

Feeling bitch talaga ako ngayon.. Lahat sinusungitan ko. Sa sobrang inis ko dito sa office, waahh, nasigawan ko sila.. Nakakainis na kase, ako na nga lahat, walang gustong tumulong, pag hindi mo ginawa, lagot ka.. waaahh.. That’s the disadvantage ng ikaw ang lang ang nakakaalam ng isang bagay.. Tinotoxic nila ako.. huhuhuhu

Wala na nga maitulong, nag iingay pa, ginawang internet café ang office… At ng magalit na ako at napuno at lumabas ang pagkamaldita ko, ayan nananhimik silang lahat..

And aside from it, we have a big fight pa ng bestfriend ko, bitch talaga ako..hehehehe. pero hindi ko kasalanan yun..

Buti na lang I have a new hair… pero mukaha pa ring maldita..



Siguro ang pagiging maldita ko ay cause ng aking mothly period.. Pati pala si sir sinusungitan ko.. well, kahit walang period sinusungitan ko pa rin sya, ang kulit e…

Home Sweet Home

It’s been a while since I came home, more than 1year I guess. Nakakamiss din umuwi. I leave this house when I have to study here in manila for my college education.

Sa paglipas ng panahon, ang dami na ring nabago sa bahay na ito, it really proves that everything’s changes. Everything should fade. Napakaraming memories sa bahay na ito, na napakasarap balik balikan.

Hindi na ganyan ang view ng bahay namin ngayon, nagkaroon na ng bahay sa vacant lot sa left side, medyo natabunan yung side ng bahay namin. So, we need to change the location of the front door, 3 steps away na lang sya sa gate. Yung terrace na putol, extended na sya papuntang left side. Ang bubong na nasa baba ng aircon room, nagging concrete na sya, terrace din ang dating. At pagpasok mo sa gate, ang daming kung anu-anong halaman ang makikita mo.

Mahilig kase si nanay sa mga halaman, pati ako pinoforce na maghalaman, ngek! E hindi ko naman hilig ito. Ang tatay ko rin mahilig sa halaman, tinitrim nya lagi yun mga yellow tops sa harap ng bahay.

Nung bata pa ako, mahilig akong gumawa ng paper boat, tapos pag-umuulan lalaruin ko dun sa may kanal.. Magtatago pa ako kina tatay, kase pagagalitan nila ako, pag nakitang naglalaro sa kanal.

Yung room na may aircon, jan ako natutulog sa hapon nun bata pa ako katabi ko si tatay. (Pero wala pa fating aircon dyan). Kase hindi pwedeng hindi ako matutulog sa hapon, kaya binabantayan nya ako. Inggit na inggit ako sa mga kalaro ko kase naririnig ko na silang nagtatakbuhan sa kalye. Ang ginagawa ko, kunwari nakatulog na ko, guguluhin ko buhok ko tas lalagyan ko ng laway un pisngi ko, o db ang galing ng drama.. hahahaha. Ewan ko ba bakit gustong gusto ng mga batang maglaro sa katanghalian.

Madalas din kaming tumambay sa may terrace, wala pa dating bakal at semento yun, kaya medyo nakakatakot. Kaya patakas lang kami kung magpunta don. Ang masaklap, may sumbongera kaming kapitbahay, matandang babae, pag nakita kami don, pagdating nila tatay sa hapon magsusumbong na yun, “yung mga anak mo nagpupunta sa terrace”, e di papagalitan na kami, kase nga raw baka mahulog kami..

Sa likod bahay naman, yung nakikita nyong puno ng mangga, pinupuntirya namin yan pag summer. Ang dami kase ng bunga, kaya pag wala akong magawa, magbibitbit ako ng mga bato sa kwarto ko kasama ang pinsan ko, hahakot kami ng maraming bato, tas hahagisin namin ang mga mangga. Maganda dun, kase hindi makikita ng may ari ng mangga. Hahahahahaha.

Pero, ng mahuli kami ng lola ko, lagot. Galit na galit sa akin, masama daw yun. Pagnanakaw na daw ang tawag don, walanjo, nasintensyahan ang batang paslit. Kesyo hindi raw kami pinalaki ng ganon, matututo daw kaming magnakaw, naku napakahabang litanya. Kaya pag manghahagis ulit kami ng mangga, sinisigurado ko na hindi nya kami makikita. HAhahahaha.

Napakarami pang memories sa bahay na ito, sarap balikbalikan..

Maldita but kind

Yesterday, I texted one of my friends in SPI (my previous company), just to say “hi, naalala kita, remember when we want to restart the server, we just shout and say, 1023 magrereboot po.” Nakakatuwang alalahanin, kase sometimes, we just don't inform everybody, kaya ayan nawawalan sila ng connection bigla, tas away na yan, away lambing. J

But after awhile, I didn’t receive a reply from her.. “malamang busy” or wala lang dating yung txt ko. When I was on my way home, I receive a message from her saying, “raz miss na kita”. Whoaw, touch naman ako, pero parang may something sa message nya.. parang malungkot. Text text pa rin kami, hanggan sa sabi nya “Naiyak ako kase nalala kita”. What?? Para bang nakakalungkot mga moments naming together.. She texted again, “I missed the happy moments that we share”, so lalong lumakas ang hinala ko na there’s something wrong.. We exchanged messages, at yun may problema nga ang lola.

Before she replied to my text, I was in a state of digging, trying to find an answer, answer sa tanong na “Masyado na ba akong maldita sa mga nakakarami?

Why do I ask such question? Because people around me seems to hate me.
Check this out, one of my dear friend says I’m not kind… (her testi for me sa friendster)

“can’t say she’s kind…she’s not…she won’t put cream on her words so it
will look delicious she’ll bluntly tell me what she needs to say… maybe just when it concerns me… maybe she’s kinder to others. But she cooks for me, when I need to be fed, haven’t eaten for a day (she says I might be anorexic!),
w/ herfresh off d kitchen food i.e.eggs, noodles & corned beef! She’s just a
phonecall away, when Charmie & I need food early in the morning, she’ll hike-up
4floors with a set of breakfast. She accompanies me anywhere I wishes. She has
ready cash when I run out of it during shopping, she’s ready to lend
me anything..name it! When she knows I’m sick, she’ll come with free samples
of medicine (maybe her brother obliged her). Alright! Maybe she’s kind!”

Maybe people hates me because of those highlighted words, ako kase yung tipong nagsasabi ng reality… reality bites, kaya siguro ganon.. Ako yung tipong, always looking for the other side, mahilig akong magcounter flow, hindi basta basta sumasang ayon… ipinaglalaban kung ano yung alam kong tama.. Kaya marami ang nawawala sa tamang direksyon ang naaasar sa akin.. hehehehe.

But, when I receive those txt messages from my friend, kahit pala papano, I’ve touch someone’s life.. yung pagnaisip ako e, hindi “maldita un e” ang papasok sa isip…kundi “ok yang si raz”. Ang sarap isipin how you touched someones life na hindi mo alam..

Well, I don’t want to please everybody, totoo lang talaga siguro ako.. hehehehe